What I'm afraid of...

Someone asked me once what I was afraid of. I am not trying to be cocky...but I was completely speechless. I stuttered through answering, "I...have....no...idea." A few sleepless nights, and it hit me...I am afraid of a word and it's little, sneaky definition in the dictionary....

av·er·age:

noun, adjective, verb

typical; common; ordinary: The average secretary couldn'thandle such a workload. His grades were nothing special,only average.

READ THE DICTIONARIES EXAMPLE?!!? Did you shutter too?!!? I would absolutely die of complete embarrassment if someone said "yea, shes just an ordinary..."...what are you gonna tell me I have a great personality next? The word "average" describing anything about me makes me want to climb into a wooden box. Having an average job, average friends or boyfriend, being an average athlete or average looking is no where near acceptable.

Think about it, to be "below average" at something would be far better, because lets be real....we're all below average on lots of things. I mean, we can't be masters of everything. The short list of things I'm below average (by far) at: math, cooking, singing, exhibiting patience. Driving, my good friends would say dancing, anything to do with electronics, things requiring assembly, following directions....and while I try and it saddens me, guitar playing. You get my point....it's easier to admit that you're not that great at something than to say, "I'm pretty mediocre." The implications of this word is dissapointing at best. BLEH.

An artist told me once that the most offensive thing that one can do is to walk by their work, and not stop to look, even if in disgust...to be unaltered, to remain ambiguous, or just not even notice it. Whats my point? I'm a piece of art, damn it. Go ahead, stop and stare. Talk to me if you're brave. If not at first, my response is far "above average" and you won't regret the time you spent. (HINT: Asking intelligent questions and then exhibiting basic listening skills will get me to stop and listen to you.) God help me with the things that I'm just average at...