30 Days of Gratitude...DAY 2

So, last night, circa 11 pm, my phone rings. It is my amazing father...

Cliche, maybe, but my dad is a superhero. Again...it's not something that he did for me recently that makes me think this. To anyone else, he's an ordinary, honest, hard working, middle class man. We try to talk a couple of times a week, but since he gave me the gift/curse of an incredible work ethic, we often times go a week or two without talking, due to being held up at work or just crashing from exhaustion as soon as we aren't on the go. And while our relationship has gone from one extreme to the other, I believe that not having him for a bit makes me appreciate him that much more.

I am the younger, female version of papa Norse. We have the EXACT same humor that it's gross....we both like running the same one joke into the ground, because to him and I, it's STILL funny and will never get old. Everyone around us wants us to die, both while we're telling that joke, and then following our telling of it, when him and I are the only two so inconsolable from laughter that everyone else has left the room but him and I....still laughing. We might have rewinded a few parts of Napoleon Dynamite to get a second dose...and both laugh hysterically every time a teenage boy movie comes on, even though we both say how stupid it is, and that we're probably wasting brain cells watching it. Also, when my dad laughs his lunatic laugh, I can't help but laugh with him, even if I don't want to because I don't even know why I'm laughing in the first place..it's like a God damn spell was cast on me...what can I say, the man is hilarious.

He has no idea how smart he is. He is sensitive that he never had the opportunity to finish school. But in actuality, he always has intelligent answers to major life questions, and the profundity from which he speaks has inspired me on MANY occasions. He is one of those rare people who speaks from his experiences, his heart, and his brain...which is far more valuable than any degree out there. He is not simple...he is always expanding his knowledge and is open to new ideas. He is the only person I know that reads the paper everyday, starting with the obituaries and the sports sections. I guess he kinda needs to be a little crazy and open minded, because with a daughter like me...you can't exactly be narrow-minded.

He loves and gives his love when he believes it is a good cause. Obvi, I'm a great cause, and so he loves the hell out of me. I remember him and my step-mother "adopting" an underprivileged family for christmas one year, and my step mom later told me they overspent because he didn't want to put back any of the things he had picked out. (He was in charge of the dad and the little girl!) He loves all of his kids, and even when he's frustrated with one of us, he would never outrightly give up on us or walk away. He doesn't throw his hands up at us, even though we have countless times done that to him. We can always come home. We all know it, and we all, at one point, have taken him for granted. Somehow, he still loves us and is proud of every one of us, and never misses a chance to highlight our accomplishments or forgive our shortcomings.

Last night, dad was tired. He felt (though he didn't say this) that he was spinning his wheels, working so hard to get by and was just exhausted by the every day bullshit of life. I can't wait until my dad and my step mother are able to retire, and sit and appreciate the people and environments that they helped create. I can't wait for them to never have to worry about anything except for staying healthy so they can live long into their grandkids lives. I am impatient for the day that they live next door to me...I lived the first 25 years away from them, and I kinda wanna spend the next 25 all up in there business, driving them absolutely fucking crazy. Get ready guys...I am moving home soon, and you won't be able to get rid of me. :-)

Best memories of my father:

-I was 13, desperate for a pony. He took me to my horsebackriding lesson every saturday morning, and read the paper and drank his coffee, and watched me through the glass windows. He took me to see one that was being sold, and then entertained the idea of actually buying it, going through the magazine of equipment we would need for this pony, along side me at our kitchen table. I was practically putting together a business proposal: why dad should buy me a pony and how much it will cost. I never got a pony. Instead, I had an empathetic and sincere father who wanted for me to have a pony. Better...

-Never a christmas or holiday goes by that he didn't give me a sentimental piece of jewelry that I have saved. A locket, a sun/moon charm that I had put on my charm bracelet which was later another dad/laura gift...a beautiful bracelet he sent to me when we weren't talking. I have yet to have a boyfriend buy me anything that remotely compares....

--The time he visited me at college and took me and my friends mini-golfing and screams out when we're getting our equipment.."I want the blue balls!" ...of course followed by his lunatic laugh. Gross dad....but hilarious.

--When we couldn't find parking, so he parked in handi-capped and grabbed his broken golf club out of the back of the truck and tapped it on the street, pretending to be blind....

--They day I watched him marry the love of his life, and felt happy for him and jealous at the same time...

--Watching him play with his grandson Luke, because Luke is under the same spell I am, which is...

Extreme, stupid, overwhelming admiration and gratitude for all that makes up our better half, Dennis Norse Sr.

Aesthetic Intelligence, 101

Walk onto a train on the metro and ask each person why living healthfully (via decent nutrition and exercise) is important, and I can guarantee you would receive very different answers. The first issue here is that we would all define “living healthfully” quite differently, but there is also another issue. Most of us are unwilling to admit our deepest desire for our physical health: to be jaw-dropping, crowd-stopping, whisper-worthy…beautiful. Another issue, even the “pretty” people of the world are the first to point out: their oversized nose, their skinny legs, their receding hair line. To arrive at the intersection of Beautiful and Confident really is a long and twisted route with no signs and lots of driving against the traffic…

It’s why my girlfriends’ hair appointments are treated with the same urgency as that of a heart transplant. It’s why cosmetic surgeries are no longer an anomaly for movie stars, but an absolute consideration for just about EVERY housewife in America. It’s why we buy certain jeans that promise a fabulous behind, or buy specific sneakers that promise to “tone and sculpt.” Are you kidding me? I know we all do it, but entertain me for a few minutes and lets get real: True physical beauty lies beyond what society teaches…we must begin taking personal responsibility for our own beauty, and just like our parents tell us after our first horrendous hair cut when you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom, crying, begging not to go to school that day…. True beauty comes from the inside.

It starts with answering the question: what does a physically beautiful person look like? Maybe they have a full head of hair. Perhaps they have broad shoulders. There is a potential chance that they do not have any muscle definition, because you find this feature to be too masculine. It could be taller, shorter, leaner, or have “more to love”…blond, brunette, a ginger for goodness sake….you get it, the options are exhausting. If you were Mr. Potato Head and got to pick your body parts like accessories, what would you pick? Mr. Potato head doesn’t have a body (hence his last name…“Head”) but if he did, what would he look like? I think all of us would say, that personality and character adds to our view of beauty, so don’t leave those out!

The scary part, where are you now? Get real with yourself…consider throwing out your Skecher shape ups and maybe even, stop going to pilates just to say you did. Once you bring your complete awareness to where you currently are…write down what you would choose to be, given a blank slate. Obviously, some of these things you can change (ie…muscle defenition) and some things you cannot (ie, your height). Look at that unchangeable list, give it a glance, then rip it up and throw it out. Seriously, spend not ONE MORE MINUTE looking at it, because 1) you’re the only one who thinks it’s a bad thing and have labeled it “wrong”, and 2) you can’t do a thing about it, so stop dwelling on it. If you accept you for who and what you are, then that is ALL the permission those around you need to do the same.

Second, recognize that everything on your changeable list is all yours. Achieving it comes when you put in the work; and putting in the work is the easy part, but only when you prioritize the time. START THERE. Get out your schedule, and right in all of your commitments, as is. You have 24 hours in your day like Bill Gates did when he decided he was going to conquer the business world; like Mother Theresa did when she decided she was not going to back down to the most influential leaders and speak against their political stance, only to get applauded by well respected presidents whose entire campaign ate same previous ideas (and people who believed them) alive. Mr. Gates and Mother Theresa never lost sight of their end goal, and while both were far from perfect, they trudged ahead full steam. We all have 24 hours….lets start DOING something with it!

We must begin believing in the process. If fulfilling a mental need requires reading a good book, then you must prioritize time to read like you would eating a meal, and then follow through; only then will that need be met. If you have a spiritual need to go to church or have fellowship with other believers (whatever it is they worship), then you must organize a gathering or go to church, just simple as that. And so it is with physical fitness. I had a client whom, after our initial interview, insisted on starting the plan I created for her “next week”. She wanted to “start fresh.” This is a very common misconception. Friends, “next week” never comes. That is something fancy we tell ourselves to get us off the hook of stepping outside of our own comfortable and non-sweaty world. If it were easy, we’d all be models, elite athletes, or experts.

I would argue that true beauty is hidden beneath the balanced lives we strive for. It’s in between 8 hours of sleep and 16 hours of equal servings of a hard-day’s-work and communion with family and friends. It’s between a short spurt of endurance training, and a long and slow yoga class. It’s between Caesar Salads and cupcakes. Our aesthetic beauty lies somewhere between our muffin-tops and our inherited and unaltered, perfectly straight set of teeth. It lies right alongside your giving, compassionate heart and a deep and profound awareness and acceptance of the things that you cannot change. You might not be there yet, but with a commitment and belief in the process, you will be. Since the only moments we ever really possess are the present, don’t wait until “next week”, be real with yourself right now, and for all the “nows” for the rest of your life.

30 Days of Gratitude...DAY 1

My "Dating DC" project, while fun and hilarious, was a bit of an epic fail. (But fun...and I made some friends, and that, afterall, was the point...)

For the next 30 days, I'm going to write everyday about the first thing or things that come to mind when I think of what I'm thankful for. What better way to make hard work worth all the time when I can recenter myself at least once a day....

Today, I can't stop thinking about my good friend, Cinnamon.

The funny part is....I haven't seen her in a while, and our next date in fact is next weekend. It's not like she's sitting next to me or on the phone or looking at her picture or...nope. Actually, I don't even think I have a picture of her. (fakebook doesn't count..) And if you ask me to describe why I'm thankful for her...which I'm about to try...it's nearly impossible. She somehow eeked her witty and compassionate self into my big heart and when I need a dose of anything...honesty, face-time, inspiration, an ear, someone to point out my biggest flaws or give me the credit that I rarely get but probably deserve...she is becoming the light bulb that goes off in my brain....probably because:

--She's so smart. She's my cuter, person version of wikipedia. :-) She ALWAYS knows the answer and if she doesn't, then give her 3 minutes and she'll have one. She knows what book to hand me when I need a good read; what joke will make me piss my pants, and when to show up in the ER when no one else did (even though my visits are too frequent to really be urgent anymore.)

--She's so pretty. On my birthday, she wore the prettiest cashmere sweater than genuinely made me contemplate cashmere like I was high....why is cashmere so soft? How is she pulling off a sweater?! (I decided I was too young for sweaters, but after seeing hers..) And my final question about this sweater....where the hell can I get a said-cashmere sweater?! She always has the widest, most genuine smile on her face, and it always brings one out of me. After 2 weeks of not seeing her, I never, EVER know what color her hair might be, which has become a complete build-up, almost like I'm meeting her all over again. She always has cute shoes...she can go from business-cinnamon to workout-cinnamon in 6 seconds. Mostly, she's the best sharer I know. I grew up in a big family....I shared everything with everyone! Socks with my brother, shoes with my mom, I shared my bed with my sisters on many occasions...but outside of the Norse clan, I hadn't met someone so outrightly giving. Cinnamon could have been a Norse. All of these things make her stupidly pretty to me!

--MOST important to me: she calls me on my shit. She points out when I'm being a brat, demanding, too independent and when I push people away. She asks all the right questions, and then follows up when I see her next. I can honestly say that her "coaching" personality not only makes her a great friend, but I am just better at living life because of it. She makes me want to be equally as amazing, not just right back at her, but to the whole damn world. There should be a law regarding how much of her to get in one day, because I'm absolutely certain that if we spent a full day together we'd either rule the world or end up in jail....or both.

I was reading something the other day......all we ever really need in our life to live fully is at least ONE person who loves us for who really are....and while I'd like to think I have tons of people this applies to, I know for sure that while this woman has every reason to judge me or not love me because of my gaping flaws, all of which she knows completely about; she actually loves me in spite of them. That's real love, and I really love her. :-)

Everyone should have a Cinnamon in their life...jus' saying. :-)