love vs. in love

(While running through my journal today, I found this. I wrote it April 21, 2008, just about one year ago. This is my original, unedited and historical feeling that still feels perfectly true, right, and relevant.)



The depth to my recent thoughts resulted in writing this in my journal. I was trying to explain to a skeptical friend the other day that you can love someone and not be in love with them...that they are very different in fact. They asked me how so, and I wasn't sure exactly how to put it....of course, the words came to me much later in the privacy of my own random thoughts, so here they are.



Love Vs. In love



Love is "being there" for someone when they need you; being in love means that you always need that unspoken connection and you cannot help but "be there."



Love is genuinely enjoying ones company; in love feels the deep loss of self when your companion is absent, even if for a moment.



Love is giving; in love is being...an exchange that you can't even realize is taking place.



Love involves great depth; but to be in love has no real dimensions, no end, no real start or explainable reason.



Love can be a single moment, and for some of those lucky ones, for a lifetime; but in love cannot be stopped by any force of our own. It's an involuntary emotion that is unalterable.



Love can finish sentences, but in love requires no words at all.





**Added June 19, 2009: If you've ever wondered what the difference is, then you've never been in love. You can't feel in love for only a moment, it's something you'll always feel whether it's right, wrong, socially accepted or not. Being in love is never wrong, and should always be fought for at all costs, even when if it means being alone and scared. If we don't ever search for mr. in love, then we are settling for love, and cutting our own selves short. God gave us our souls to be completely shared, not just in part. He gave us the ultimate love to give; who are we to not give it? If you only share a little bit, you will only get a little bit in return. But if you shamelessly, boldly give all of yourself; what you get in return is ...everything.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you, not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlighted about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." -Nelson Mandela