NYC Adventure, Part 1

I knew it was going to be a good trip to NYC when I was driving around downtown Boston searching for parking this weekend in the pouring rain.  And finally, I found the best deal, though I had to circle the block because the entrance was blocked by a big truck.  And circle 3 or 4, I noticed that this truck was emitting dead pigs.  Right on the doorstep of Asian cuisine.  Can’t make this shit up.  A scrawny man in clothes too big is throwing these dead pigs right at the door.  Gross, Boston.  Gross.

So I park, and I walk into South Station to await my Megabus.  Of course the midnight bus is late, and I’m pleased to say that my seat partner is a young athlete, and wears swishy pants, and is seemingly normal compared to the other clientele. She contorts herself into the tiniest ball and falls asleep almost immediately, as do I.  Unfortunately, the guy behind us has woken up everyone in a one hundred mile radius with his snoring…I somehow managed to sleep through it almost entirely.  Poor girl next to me was swishin’ all over…by the sound of her pants, she was not pleased with the man.

Destination New York, and while I don’t really know where I am, I gather my bags and my sleepy brain and head towards Grand Central Station.  I walked about 20 blocks, and would have much preferred a better option on this fine Saturday morning than “Everyday Gourmet” where a little cat is randomly roaming the floors.  It doesn’t quite look like it belongs, but no one seems to care.  I normally like cats, but this one is creeping all over.  Creepy.  And kind of gross.  I’d much preferred Luci, who always looks afraid thus endearing, rather than this cat who though tiny, looked like it would scratch your face off.  This NYC kitty is a G…no doubt.  Also, the signs advertise this place as an “internet café.”  Perfect.  Except they don’t have internet, and when I asked about it, they looked at me like I had “dumbass” stamped to my forehead.  And this was how I knew my weekend of life coaching was off to a great start.

Next stop….STARBUCKS, where I will seek out their internet and an Americano.  And then, New York Sports Club, where I will work out and shower.  Oh hell, I’ll probably just take a shower.  Who am I kidding.  And then off to the Hyatt to get my ass kicked into life coaching shape.   What have I signed myself up for?