The Folk Harpist.

I have this friend, and she’s absolutely insane in the membrane.  Some instances that proves she’s fruit loops: she once held me down (NOT kidding) and glued semi permanent eye lashes to my face, and oops, forgot to buy the remover.  “You must be beautiful on your birthday, Norsey!!!” Don’t worry, she went back after the fact, only to find the remover was discontinued.  It’s fine.  She once decided to smuggle a 50 lb pit bull into a cats only apartment building, furthermore, in a COUNTY that banned pit bulls altogether.  Yea, that too worked out great.  Otis now lives with her parents in New Jersey.  It’s also fine. 

Needless to say, either due to my boredom or love for drama, she currently lives with me.  Much to my sad surprise, I rarely see her.  She has an internship for some branch of the government and she works from 9-9...like, 6 days a week.  Ok, it’s fine.  But first of all, what kind of internship is this that she doesn’t usually make it home before 10?!!  The district is practically empty after 7.  But no, she still sits at her desk.  Hell, I don’t even know if she has a desk.  Does she have a cubicle?  Are her cubicle friends getting raped by the government, too? A little sketch if you ask me.  I may need to turn Harriet the Spy and crack this mystery.  But I’m not gonna lie, I’m legitimately afraid to uncover that she’s secretly selling crack or answers to a pimp in southeast.  Guess who has huge cash bills on her all the time? Erika does, but it’s fine.

She’s got six million ideas in any given minute….to learn 3 more languages, to pack up right now and go on a mission trip, literally, I’ve watched the lightbulb go on and the suitcase come out.  She decided she wanted to learn to play the keyboard, but instead used this keyboard to throw her clean clothes on top off...it's fine.

I come home the other day and next to her bed (yes we share a bed, and yes, we’re straight...it's a long story)  anyways, by our bed is a harp.  A fucking HARP.  It totally blew my mind.  I thought, “it can’t be,” but then I saw it….a spiral bound book entitled “Teach yourself the folk harp.”  FOLK HARP?!?!  Is this really happening?  What distinguishes a folk harp from a regular harp anyways?  By the picture on the book, (a hippie looking women playing said "folk" harp in a lush field, looking rather nymph-like…) I would assume that the folk harp requires a bit of dressing up like a fairy and taking yourself to such fields, and in between playing these "folk" pieces, I imagine the "folk" harpist picks dandelions and then makes herself a necklace.  I can’t make this shit up, this is really happening to me.  I suddenly feel lightheaded.  Erika now plays the "folk" harp.  In our room.  And It’s fine.